Rivals of Yesterday
by BlackWingedGabriel
Summary: Set around the time for the next North Star Cup from the end of the series. Akira finds himself wondering if Hikaru and him will drift appart from their rivalry. His fears get worse once Hikaru begins chasing someone altogether new who isn't even a pro.
1. I'm lonely'

"I told you, you can't do yose!" Akira Touya yelled across the completed game of Go.

"You're a moron," Hikaru Shindou yelled back, "If I don't then there will be an atari on the right corner!"

"Not if you had defended earlier!" Touya glared.

"Whatever!"

"Fine!"

"I'm leaving!"

Isumi gazed warily at Shindou rushing out the door to Akira fuming silently in his chair. He had been in the middle waiting for the fight that was bound to break out anytime soon. The North Star preliminarys for the third member of the Japan representatives had been three weeks ago. Isumi had passed without major glitches except for the last representative Yashiro who had played him last, it had been a furious game with the end of a single moku. Hikaru and Touya being four dan had had enough credits on them to get accepted automatically.

Now, the tournament a week away, Kurata had decided it was best for them to practice together. Touya and Shindou had invited him a week ago to their Go salon once he had been the official preliminary winner. He had been amazed at Touya and Hikaru's Go talents, they were geniuses. That was actually an understatement; they were mind-boggling and getting better by the day. Of course he wasn't left behind, a year and a half as a pro he already could play ruthless even games with high-dan players like those two. And yet…'those two' seemed to be the only ones to match each other's skill.

"He's such an idiot," Akira mumbled to himself more than anyone while collecting the Go stones from the board, a sure sign that it was okay to talk to him again.

"But he reached you," Isumi said bluntly taking a seat across from him. "It took him a few years but he did it, idiot or not he will surpass you one of these days, nigiri."

Akira scowled heavily but did as told, "He won't surpass me," he spat, eyes blazing.

"We'll be at each other's throats until we reach our death beds."

Isumi looked up taken aback, "He can't be your rival forever Touya-kun, there will come the time when you'll reach a crossroad of some sort. He'll find someone new to chase and so will you."

Akira opened his mouth but no sound came out, he felt unsure for the first time. _New rivals…no, that's not for me… not for Shindou._

The game began in a steady pace but once established Isumi began to sweat. Akira was coming down on him mercilessly, this wasn't a practice game; this was for real. Risking a glance he saw Akira's burning eyes and then Isumi realized he had struck a nerve.

Seventeen year old Hikaru stomped out of the cool Go salon into the blazing sun. How was it that Akira could always get on his nerves? They'd known each other for years now and they still managed to fight like a cat and mouse. The fights had decreased a bit that's true, but still…

A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, of course without fights he would be forced to have a normal conversation with Touya, how awkward.

The North Star cup was approaching in another week but Hikaru wasn't really looking forward to it. Ko Yeong-Ha wouldn't be there this year apparently he had family issues of some sort, Hikaru had sulked for days after hearing the news.

'_I would've showed him this time,'_ he thought sourly, _"Showed him how much better than him I am now."_

Their last encounter burned in his insides. It was a searing mixture of humiliation, guilt and anger.

Humiliation at being defeated by half a moku, guilt at being unable to protect Sai's game, and anger at his own game for not being enough.

Hikaru strolled easily down the slightly crowded downtown streets, a fan swinging lightly in his left hand. Two years, two whole years without that silly ghost by his side, without that wise teacher that always gave him the tiny bit of hope in times of need.

"_Hikaruuuu! You're so mean, I want to play!"_

The small smile that had played on his face a few seconds before disappeared slowly. Sai sometimes appeared in his dreams but these were just stupid dreams that involved elementary school and Sai begging to play. It wasn't the real Sai, just the Sai of his memories. No matter how sweet the dreams though, it was never enough. It wasn't the same as having the purple-haired ghost play endless games of Go in his room at night, or being woken up early in the morning by that piping voice ordering to play more. It just wasn't the same!

'_I'm lonely,'_ he realized suddenly coming to a halt in the middle of the moving crowd. People jostled and collided with him but he ignored it, his insides beginning to feel like lead.

'_Sai is in the Go I play, Go is my life, and I have Akira to keep me in check of the goals I have…but why do I feel so…empty…so lonesome?'_

The image of Sai behind him pointing out moves and giving comments flashed through his mind, a lump formed in his throat, there was no one back there anymore.

It had been there, in the pit of his stomach, the corner of his mind, the depths of his heart, that feeling he had failed to recognized that night after entering his room after Innoshima in search of Sai and realized he was truly gone: Abandon.

People's complaints reached his ears breaking his thoughts. Clutching the fan like a life-line, Hikaru hurried through the crowd. This wasn't the time to get depressed, it would affect his game. Akira would notice and start complaining, there was enough complaining already to deal with.

His stomach rumbled but his pocket was empty, no ramen for him, damn. He would have to settle with whatever his mother had prepared tonight.

He fumbled hopefully in his pocket for the fifth time with no luck; shooting a wistful look at a ramen restaurant he rushed to turn the corner block on a noisy arcade.

The person seemed to have materialized out of thin air before him. It took him by surprise that he was unable to ready himself for the imminent collision. The stranger took it better, he remained standing after they bumped while Hikaru had been sent flying to the ground only to land painfully on his rear, the fan went skating off to the side.

"Watch it will you," the stranger remarked yet handing him a helping hand.

"Yeah—sorry," Hikaru mumbled taking the offered hand. He stood awkwardly dusting his behind that was sure to be black and blue tomorrow. Smiling broadly at his stupidity he looked at the poor stranger who had grabbed the fan of the ground and was now handing it to him. "Thank y—."

Violet eyes stared back at him, a soft smile, the hand holding the fan. It was all there. The face, the long hair, the presence…

His breath caught painfully in his throat and he had become aware of how difficult it had become to breath. His heart pounded and the world seemed to stand still. Maybe God _had_ heard him after all…

"Sai?"


	2. Sai's Face

"Sai?"

Sai arched an eyebrow at him but remained silent. The hand holding the fan jerked uneasily as if prodding him to hurry and take it. Hikaru gaped motionless; a wave of silence filtered the air pounding in his ears only to be cut of shortly.

"This is yours right? Take it," Sai prodded impatiently. Hikaru's senses rushed back to him leaving a sense of light-headness. Something was wrong…Sai never frowned like that…

Then it hit him: the eyes were not violet but blue; the hair was jet black in the place of purple. But…that aside, the face was the same, identical. This was Sai, but at the same time it wasn't.

'_I'm having a heat stroke,'_ he reasoned stepping back from the sick impersonation of Sai.

Sai's face that was _not_ his face broke into a scowl. Hikaru's mind tried to grip the reality he seemed to be loosing. Having an up and down look of this alien, Hikaru noticed in a second's time that the 'person' was wearing a high school uniform similar to his, he was just as tall as the real Sai and he was wearing his long, black hair in a low pony tail, something Sai never did. Yet the face…the face!

'_It's okay Hikaru, I'm here!'_

'_It's not fair, Hikaru, you get to play everyday…'_

'_You'll get stronger…you are stronger Hikaru…'_

'_I'm here'_

It was too much, it hurt too much. Hikaru did the only thing he could think to make it all stop: he ran away.

It had been two years since he had felt this way. The pain seemed to be new and raw like he was going through it for the first time. Why did it have to come and haunt him when he was fine, settled, somewhat satisfied? He felt the tears fly of his face but he didn't stop his frantic dash to wipe them off.

The wound Sai had left hadn't healed only festered. It was stupid, really. No—he was the stupid one to have believed he was strong enough not to have someone behind him. How idiotic now it seemed the simple pride he had once felt on having Sai only in his game when deep inside he knew he wanted more, needed more.

'_I'm lonely.'_

"Where's Hikaru?" Kurata asked, arriving at the Go salon the next day. Isumi and Akira were sitting across from each other but hadn't begun to play yet. Kurata sensed a chill between the two though their faces were impassive.

"He's never late," Akira stated more to himself than anyone. Before more words were shared Hikaru Shindou dashed in the room out of breath. He looked disoriented but before Akira gathered air in his lungs to reprimand him Hikaru walked into a chair and toppled over.

The three watched in stunned silence not knowing whether to laugh or be concerned.

"I'm okay," he winced standing.

"You're late," Akira stated as if Hikaru had merely walked in gracefully rather than crashed clumsily.

"It's okay Touya, don't cry for me, I'll live," Hikaru snapped sarcastically taking a seat on the next empty Go board. Akira got up in a flash, swiftly sitting across Hikaru. Kurata saw this with mild surprise and stole a glance at Isumi wondering how he would take the hasty dismissal from Touya. Aside from a small clenching of the jaw Isumi remained calm keeping his eyes on the Go board.

"Will you be my opponent today Kurata-sensei?" Isumi finally asked noticing the large man's unwavering stare. With a last look at Akira, Kurata settled himself.

"Nigiri," he commanded, Touya and Hikaru began as well.

Four voices echoed, "Please," and it finally began for the day.

The beginning game was uneventful for the first twenty minutes, and then things began to take proportion and meaning. Kurata had to pause for minutes on end, he found Isumi a very worthy opponent every time they played. Isumi just fought for an even game against this great pro.

For Akira and Hikaru this game was beginning to look—

"Horrible! His play is atrocious!" Akira grinded his teeth in frustration glaring at Shindou pointedly, "He's playing more careless than an Insei."

To the mere spectator Hikaru Shindou's expression was one of deep concentration. His eyes narrowed from time to time as if trying to understand the game thoroughly and his lips pursed with the effort. But Akira knew better. Shindou was a million miles away, deep in thoughts that didn't involve the Go board before him. He also noticed something strange; Hikaru's hands were on top of the table clutched nervously and useless. Hikaru usually had his hands under the table clasping that anomalous fan of his.

"Shindou where's your fan?" Akira asked, the question coming out accusatory but he didn't know why.

Hikaru looked up startled like a child caught doing something bad. '_Or a deer caught on headlights,' _Akira thought frowning.

"I—I lost it," Hikaru stammered avoiding Akira's eyes.

"You're lying," Akira sighed pushing the basket of stones away to lean forward, "Where's your fan Shindou, you are playing stinks by the way, I suppose because you don't have that thing with you."

Hikaru shook his head slowly, eyes and mouth wide open. After a minute under Akira's intense gaze he surrendered.

"I bumped into this guy yesterday, I guess, h-he has it," it was kind of true, Hikaru told himself, Akira wouldn't see through the hidden true right?

Wrong, Akira was giving him a shrew look.

'_He knows me better than I know myself,' _Hikaru thought annoyed starting to collect the stones. Akira was right though, this had been an awful game. He knew he was able to play games without that darned fan on his side; it was just the memory of the past day that made him clumsy. He hesitated for a millisecond but shook his head. It had been a misunderstanding of course; there was no one out there with Sai's face. The hair and eyes were different…

_'Maybe Sai likes to dye his hair and use contacts, god knows he was odd enough…'_

"I have lost," Isumi said loud enough to get their attention.

"Good game kid!" Kurata smiled turning to them, "how was yours?"

"Uneventful," Akira responded, Hikaru breathed an air of relief, glad Akira had decided not to make a big deal of one bad-played game.

They began to discuss the game unaware of the sliding door opening.

A stranger with a long ponytail and blue eyes stepped in. He looked about until spotting what he wanted; the boy with bleached highlights.

"Shindou!"

All four turned but only one's stomach clenched painfully.

Sai's face stared back at him, not only that, he also knew his name!

'Sai, is it really you?' he felt like calling out but afraid of the answer.

"You are Hikaru Shindou, right?" the stranger asked rather curtly.

Hikaru couldn't even bring himself to nod.

"This is Shindou," Kurata replied cheerfully noticing Hikaru's weird hesitation, "Who might you be?"

"I brought you this," the boy said, ignoring Kurata and the question. The paper fan was in his hand, he tossed it to the air. It landed on the floor and skidded to Hikaru's feet, he made no attempt to pick it up.

"I went to all the trouble of finding you to return that piece of trash, the least you could do is say thanks," the boy said sardonically.

Heat went to Hikaru's face, the pain in his stomach disappearing only to be replaced by boiling rage. He looked at the fan at his feet to the cynical boy; finally he scooted down gripping the fan gently then grabbing his backpack.

Akira and the others watched in wonder as to what had made him so furious, he hadn't said a word.

He headed to the door and was about the leave but had a second thought, "I can't believe I ever thought you were Sai."

The door closed behind him, the silence deafening.

Akira was baffled, this boy—Sai? Wasn't Shindou Sai?

The boy stayed rooted to the spot, "Who's Sai?"

(_Okay, I apologize, this chapter didn't quite come out like I wanted it to, sorry if it was kinda corny please comment if you think things should be changed.)_


	3. Handicap

Akira felt the urge to go after his angry rival but thought better of it. Hikaru had left furious, not 'You-are-a-jerk-Touya-I'm-leaving!' kind of angry, this was real.

"Who are you?" he asked rudely to the long-haired boy who was now staring around with open curiosity. Akira flinched when the sharp blue eyes settled on him. Why had Hikaru confused him with Sai? Was Sai a person then?

"Call me Rei," he said simply starting to walk around, lifting the lids of the stone boxes on each Go board to see its contents. "He ran into me yesterday and called me Sai, who's that?"

"I don't know," Akira said truthfully. "How did you know Shindou was here, did you know him already?"

"Nah, I recognized him from _Weekly Go_ so I called that place the—the Japan Go Research center, yeah that place, and they told me he would be here," he was now upon Kurata and Isumi's game looking down at it critically.

"Why go through all the trouble?" Akira asked suspiciously.

Rei smirked, looking at him as if it was the most stupid and obvious question in the world, Akira began to fume but waited.

"Because he is Hikaru Shindou, that's why."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kurata piped refusing to be left out of the conversation.

Rei rolled his eyes, "Famous pro seventeen year old who is four-dan and hasn't lost a game in about a whole year, he became an insei after only playing Go for a year, you would wanna meet him if you got the chance, right?"

"Well, it was a waste of time," he continued after no one answered, "I wanted to play a game against him but he's a sort of a hothead."

"Hikaru isn't a hothead, you insulted him somehow," Akira snapped.  
Isumi and Kurata exchanged looks. Had that really come out of Akira Touya's mouth? He was the one who would rage of Hikaru's immature temper for hours on end after Hikaru had stormed off.

"Hey, I'm the one who was insulted, the guy didn't even say thanks," Rei said in mock indignation. They glared at each other until Rei blinked and broke into a broad, cunning grin. Akira also blinked taken aback.

"I barely noticed!" Rei laughed, "You are the famous Akira Touya!"

Something about the tone assured Akira that he wasn't being given a compliment.

"Let's play a game," Rei said sitting where Hikaru had sat minutes before, "You can have a handicap of four stones."

_You can have a handicap of four stones…_

Both Isumi and Kurata could feel the heat radiating out of Touya who looked murderous.

"A-a handicap? Are you a pro kid?" Kurata asked hurriedly.

"Nope, I have better stuff to do than play Go all the time, are you gonna play or not?"

Akira took a seat, they did nigiri. The boy Rei was white and he would be black. Rei took four black stones and placed them on the board for Akira: a handicap.

Akira swiped the stones of the board to the basket, he was livid. Rei chuckled, "You're funny, hey if I win will you tell Shindou to play me?"

"What if you loose?" Akira asked through clenched teeth slamming a stone on the board.

"I won't."

Hikaru was looking up at the sky but not really looking at it. His mind was back in the Go salon with the arrogant replica of Sai who had so carelessly thrown the fan to the floor and called it _trash_. Feeling something drip on his hand he looked at the can of soda he had been grasping so tight it had begun to crush spilling its contents all over.

"Damn…"

He threw the can away and washed his hand in the nearest water fountain. He was in the park trying to cool off. That guy, ugh, that guy! It pissed him off. It was like the last North Star Cup all over again except there wasn't a guy boasting of being better than Sai, there was a guy unknowingly boasting he _was_ Sai, how infuriating. He wasn't Sai, he wasn't!

He was angry, that much was true but he was also disappointed which was worse…he had had some hope if only for a second, well more than a second actually. He hadn't gotten much sleep thinking of how it might be Sai, just _might_.

No…the eyes were mocking not warm and kind…how could he have been so stupid as to mistake that guy—that guy with…

_'Forget about it,' _he told himself.

He began to worry about having left so suddenly, Kurata probably wouldn't be pleased. Not with the North Star Cup being so close and all…

And Akira would be the worst tomorrow scolding him for hours and—Akira!

_"I can't believe I ever thought you were Sai."_

He had said this in front of Akira without meaning to.

"I won't get him off my back now," he groaned out loud. Akira hadn't bothered him much after their first official match two years ago when he had promised to tell him 'someday' the truth about Sai but he was quite the stubborn guy. He would probably use his slip of the tongue to make him finally spill the beans.

"I'll go eat ramen somewhere to calm my nerves then go home," he said out loud to no one but passersby heard and stared at the bleach-haired boy wondering if he was okay in the head.

_'Yeah! I'll put this all behind me and eat,' _he stood up and stretched, resolved to make the rest of this day a better one.

"Hikaru! Hi-Hikaru!"

Isumi came running out of nowhere clutching a stitch in his side.

"What, breathe Isumi, what's wrong?"

"Y-you have to come," he gasped gripping Hikaru's arm and pulling breaking into another painful run. They ran all the way to the Go salon, Hikaru could tell Isumi was more than out of breath but he had refused to stop.

They went in, the first thing Hikaru noticed was how silent it was, there was no stones being put down or soft murmurs going about. His insides stopped cold at the side that awaited him; it was Akira. He was seated, his head bowed down, Hikaru could see he was breathing heavily. The dark hair covered his expression but Hikaru knew...he knew what was hidden under the curtain of hair having seen it a few times a long, long time ago. Humiliation, sadness and disappointment all merged together.

The Go board was still laid out plain for everyone to see. Hikaru couldn't help but gasp; it was a seven moku difference. Black had been massacred mercilessly without any hope.

"Touya, were you white?" Hikaru asked dumbly already knowing the answer. The slight shake of head proved him right.

"It was that guy who came to leave you your fan, Rei," Kurata said softly. He looked at Touya with sympathy but Hikaru saw the flash of interest in his eyes when he turned to the Go board. "He said he wasn't a pro."

"He wasn't a pro," Hikaru repeated softly.

"He wants to play you," Isumi said suddenly, Akira looked up rather sharply.

"Play…me?"

Isumi nodded, "He goes to Sekai High, he said to go to the go club they have tomorrow afternoon if you have time."

Akira turned to Shindou who had gone quiet his eyes on the Go board. He saw Shindou nod, getting that look only he knew too well. It was the look that he had gotten every time someone had mentioned Shindou two years before. The look of deep competitiveness and fervent anticipation.

"I'll go," Shindou declared glaring fiercely at the board then at his fan in his hand.

Akira had felt that loosing the game a few minutes ago had been the worst thing that had ever happened to him but seeing Shindou with that look now…

_"He can't be your rival forever"_

Had they reached the crossroads Isumi had mentioned?

'_No! I'm Shindou's rival and he is mine! My rival, mine._'


	4. Shadows

(_It was mentioned to me that Isumi is beyond the age limit for the North Star cup which is totally true and I apologize since I kinda forgot but whatever just think this as BlackWingedGabriel's alternate universe where Isumi is seventeen and Akira is jealous of Rei without this being a Shonen-ai)_

* * *

Sekai High was located all across the city from where Hikaru lived. He was forced to play hooky at school in order to be there in time. He also had to ditch the practice with Kurata and the others, they would understand.

Who was this 'Rei' anyway? With Sai's face and the Go ability of any ten-dan player? He wasn't Sai; his game was nothing like Shuusaku's. Akira had refused point blank to discuss the game with them, leaving for home in a rush, probably wanting to sulk in silence. Hikaru frowned; Akira had gotten his stiff-little butt royally kicked by a total stranger who wasn't even a pro that could be a total ego shredder.

'_He might go into a slump,' _Hikaru thought aggravated. It would be his job to drag Akira out of any sudden fall of grace. That's what rivals did for one another after all, or at least that's what he thought they were supposed to do. Two years gone by and he still wasn't clear of the friend-rival thing they had going on. It was a brain teaser and he didn't have the guts to ask Akira about it himself. He imagined the conversation would go something like this:

Him: Akira, are you my friend and my rival? What am I to you?

Akira: (staring at him as if he had grown a second head) Uh…why do you ask this Shindou?

Him: Never mind I'll go bury myself under a rock or something.

Akira: Okay…you do that.

That would be highly embarrassing so he usually tried to act by instinct when it came to Akira Touya. This usually meant 'Him' loosing his temper at Akira's mannerism and 'Akira' yelling himself hoarse at Hikaru's natural idiotism like he liked to call it.

He sighed, whatever happened he knew that he would be there for Touya; they were lifelong rivals no matter how absurdly corny that sounded. He watched the scenery go by and tried to empty his head of everything. Rei would be waiting for him with a wide sneer that contorted Sai's face, disturbing Hikaru's memories of his long gone best friend. That would affect his game if he let it. He had to be prepared to sit across from Sai one more time knowing that in a way he had so much more at stake than just a bruised ego.

"Go club? I think it's held in the theater arts classroom," a blonde-haired girl said to him in one of the long corridors of Sekai High he had gotten himself lost for the fifth time in.

"Yeah, I know, two people have told me already," Hikaru said rather sheepishly, "I don't know where the classroom is."

With new directions to his destination, Hikaru set out, every step taking him closer to something completely new and scary it made him want to run back home and not turn back. Maybe if he tapped his shoes and said, "There's no place like home," he would wake up in his cozy bed out of a hazy horrible dream in which a guy that looked like Sai had beat Touya and acted like Sai's evil twin. But that was wishful thinking, was it not?

"I told you no!"

"And I told you I could care less."

"But you're not even part of the club!"

Hikaru hurried to the voices, one of them had been that guy's, Rei's.

He stood by the door frame looking into a classroom with a small stage off to the side and a teacher's desk in the far left. There were desks spread about with no particular order and costume racks in the right. In the middle of all the clutter was Rei looking very bored and a short boy with brown locks and a look of deep anger. On some of the desks were four or five Go boards, there were two games going on by four members that were pretending yelling wasn't taking place right next to them. Some other six members were slacking about looking at the argument with mild interest as if they were used to it.

"I said no Verona, and that's a no! I won't let you play in this club if you are not part of it," the brown haired boy growled.

"But I don't want to play your precious club members, I just need a Go board to play someone else, I don't have one at home," Rei said tediously. While he was rolling his eyes he noticed Hikaru and his face split into a cunning grin. "There you are I thought you wouldn't show."

Before Hikaru could help it he asked the question his mind kept echoing, "Who are you?"

"I'm Rei Verona senior at this school and your next rival, now take a seat."

Hikaru did as told going to an empty desk with a Go board feeling disappointed, that answered nothing.

"You be black and I'll—,"

"Who taught you how to play Go?" Hikaru interrupted placing a stone on the board.

Rei blinked looking abashed for the first time, "My dad when I was like four."

"W-wait a minute," the brown-haired boy stammered staring at Hikaru eyes popping out.

"Yeah, yeah this is Hikaru Shindou four-dan Kuragi now leave us alone you breathe too loud."

Excited whispers and gasps erupted, chairs scrapped as people crowded around them.

"Is he really?"

"Wow, will it be an even game?"

"Sign my notebook Shindou senpai."

Hikaru took a deep breath and ignored like he always did, Sai's face was right across from him, he had to concentrate.

"Akira Touya really lost yesterday, I thought he was better than that," Rei said conversationally, "He thought he could beat me with that weak game he plays, it was pathetic."

Hikaru gritted his teeth, no matter how much he wanted to stand up for Touya; Rei's game backed his trash talk up. He was that good…

In the middle of the game Hikaru sighed, they were even, he had given it his all but when he read ahead all he saw was himself loosing by three moku without any hope or loophole.

_'This is it'_ he thought gripping his fan under the desk so tight he could feel the dry wood crack slightly. _'This game is who he really is…he is not Sai…never was. And yet I lost, and Touya lost, but Sai wouldn't have.' _

That thought more than anything held him steady as he stared ahead at his opponent, "I have lost."

Rei, deep in the game looked up in surprise. He obviously hadn't read that far yet.

"Why aren't you a pro?" Hikaru asked while putting away the stones, the crowd had begun to disperse. To them the great Hikaru Shindou had lost, but he didn't care there were more pressing matters on hand.

Rei shrugged his expression quizzical. Hikaru cringed and looked away; Sai had looked like that whenever he would spot a new technological gadget.

"It never interested me enough but I saw your kifus in _Weekly Go _and wanted to play you. Your game is okay but you resigned in the middle game so I can tell you're intimidate easily," he said getting his bag from the floor and standing up, "I might take the pro test this year, I don't want to go to college, it's way boring."

Hikaru's eyes saw red he stood up, the desk scooting away from him with a screech.

"You beat me and Touya but that doesn't mean you're worth of being accepted to the Go world," he raged, "It takes conviction and hard work, you have to love the game! You—you sitting there with the face of—you insult his very memory!"

"He ditched," Akira said softly to the newly arrived Isumi before he could question the grim expressions on Kurata and him.

"Well, we all knew he would go," Isumi said bracingly, "He never actually said he would think about it, did he?"

Akira nodded but didn't reply.

"There, there, I'm sure Shindou is doing great beating that conceited boy," Kurata said getting up in a flash, "I'll go order us something to eat we'll be practicing until very late."

Both boys watched Kurata go up to the main desk to use the phone.

"Why are you worried, shouldn't you be obsessing over your loss of yesterday?" Isumi asked taking a seat to be on eye level with the sad green eyes. "That is kind of healthy on it's own way, you know."

Akira shook his head, "I am angry I lost, especially against him but what's done is done."

"You are angry? Then why do you look so worried?"

Akira frowned; a veil was thrown over his eyes making them cloudy to define.

"I think—no, I _know_ Hikaru is going to chase after him now."

Isumi blinked, "You don't know that, Hikaru just wants to play him, _I_ want to play him. His game is amazing."

"No you don't understand," Akira said stubbornly his upper lip curling, "You don't know Shindou like I know him. We are more alike than you think.

"He has found something in Rei that will keep him attached."

"Something like what you found in Hikaru that kept you attached to him?" Isumi asked softly.

Akira nodded beginning to look anxious, "He told me since the beginning that I was only chasing a shadow of the real him, it took me more than a year to figure out what he meant."

"Do you think Hikaru found a shadow like you?"

Akira looked of into space.

_I can't believe I ever thought you were Sai_

"Maybe…maybe not but I don't think he would tell me even if I asked him."

Kurata came back talking about chicken and beef selections, he then made Isumi play him while Akira went of on his own to recreate games.

'_Whatever you're chasing Shindou, it's a lie. If there is one thing I learned from chasing you is that the shadow is not real only the game… but I'm sure you know that too.'_

Be it Sai, Rei or the God of Go himself, Touya would defeat them if he had to.

If he had to prove himself to Hikaru, then he would.


	5. I'm Better

_(Hullo everyone who actually reads this stuff, I like to update ever day mostly because I want to get it over with. Like all of you out there I don't know how this will end, I just write what comes to mind so I still haven't got a concrete end in mind. So all of your comments and reviews are welcomed. It's okay if you tell me I suck. It's true that I'll cry myself to sleep but I can improve my writing because of it. Well whatever, here goes nothing.)_

* * *

"_I'm_ not good enough for the world of Go?" Rei's eyes narrowed dangerously, his backpack dropping to the ground.

"Why don't you get a reality check Shindou? You just lost to me; you are as weak as your chum Touya Akira."

"Touya is not weak!" Shindou shouted feeling his temper rising more if possible. "You just said you were my new rival, you are wrong! Even though you beat me, Touya is twice the player you are."

Both breathed heavily, newborn hate stifling the atmosphere, the angry words rang in their ears. Hikaru reached for his bag, he noticed his hand shake slightly.

"I'll come back, in two days, same time," he turned to Rei, their eyes burning into each other's. "Then I will beat you, no draw or half a moku setting us apart. Your ability won't matter any more than your face."

He walked out the door and was half way down the corridor before Rei ran after him pulling him roughly by the shoulder. "What does my face have to do with anything? Do you have a problem with it?"

Rei's voice rang with the promise of a fight but that wasn't what caused Hikaru's face to soften, the anger replaced by sadness.

"You look like him."

"Like who?" Rei took a step back from Hikaru his hands forming into fists ready to land blows even though he had become bewildered by Hikaru's sudden change of mood. He began to fear that the boy before him might be a _tad_ bipolar.

"Like someone I can't get out of my head," not bothering to elaborate, Hikaru left breaking into a run once outside the building.

Two days, he had two days to become a better player. He had to admit Rei's ability was remarkable and it would take a four-dan player a long time to catch up, but his temper and big mouth had gotten the best of him. It was okay he meant what he had said. Looks were an accident so Sai's features on that jerk were a mere coincidence. Maybe Rei was a descendant of the Fujiwaras, who knew?

He took the subway back home, thinking all the way. He would play and replay games in his mind figuring how to battle this new wall before him. It would be difficult, he knew this. Hell, Akira had taken him at least two years to approach. Now it was only two days…two.

Akira sighed for the millionth time. He was in front of Shindou's house, it was getting dark. After an hour of torture in the Go salon with Kurata-sensei and Isumi, he had escaped with an excuse of dinner with his family. He had rushed to the Shindou residence but Hikaru wasn't home yet. Mrs. Shindou had offered to let him come in to wait and have some tea with her but Akira felt awkward even with all the hospitality. He had settled for pretending to leave and just waiting on the outside gates. That had been forty-five minutes ago, his legs were beginning to cramp for standing so stiff by the wall. He saw a pebble on the ground by his foot. It was odd…by the angle it lay, it kind of resembled Shindou's head from the back…he kicked it.

"Touya?" Hikaru came up grimacing somewhat he was carrying his bag to the side. It dragged on the ground making small noises of fabric tearing.

"Shindou how did your match go?" Akira felt like getting strait to the point might give him strength to ask what he really longed to ask all day long.

"Oh…I lost," Hikaru said dispiritedly kicking the pebble Akira had kicked a moment ago. They both watched it as it bounced and skittered to a dying bush on the neighbor's lawn.

"But we are going to have a rematch two days from now, I'll beat him then just you wait," Hikaru grinned but stopped as soon as he say Touya's burning eyes and pursed lips. "What's wrong?"

"Shindou, I'm going to ask him for a rematch tomorrow."

Hikaru blinked but inwardly he wasn't too surprised, this was Akira after all.

"If I—if I beat him, Shindou do you promise to forget all about him?"

"What do you mea—?"

"If I prove to you he is not a worthy opponent, will you forget all about him?"

Hikaru frowned trying to understand what Akira was asking it all seemed so stupid, "No! I want to play him, what's with you Touya?"

Akira felt a surge of defiance and competitiveness take hold of him, "Please Shidou, let me do this, I'll show you! I'll prove to you I'm better, please… if I beat him will you pretend we never met him?"

* * *

(_Ho-hum. This is my shortest chapter so far, sorry but not only am I getting writer's block, I also believe this is a good stop point, so see ya, love, peace and…stuff.)_


	6. Answers

**Okay people let me clear something up about this wonderful, wonderful story. It is NOT a Shonen-ai, NOT A SHONEN-AI! Okay, well now that you understand Shindou and Akira AREN'T gonna get it on any time soon either leave if you are disappointed or sit back, smile, think happy pure thoughts and say to yourself, 'What a swell story!' **

The morning air was soft and slightly chilly. Children ran and played on the swings and slides completely carefree. Three teenage boys sat on a bench watching all of this without really watching being too busy having _intelligent_ conversations of their own…

"And then he said, 'If I beat him will you pretend we never met him' and then I was like 'Take your meds Touya' and then I left him there. I seriously believe something's wrong with that guy," Hikaru concluded gulping the rest of the soda he had just bought.

Waya and Isumi watched him wearily, occasionally sipping their own drinks.

"And then?" Waya prodded impatiently.

Hikaru burrowed his brow in concentration, "And then…my mom made me ramen and I went to sleep."

Waya rolled his eyes, "Did someone hit you over the head with a Go board are you that dense? I meant what happened after that with Touya. Did he call you or go over to your house again?"

"Oh…no, but when I went up to my room to leave my stuff he was still standing out there."

"Creepy…"

"Whatever the case, you lost against that boy, Rei. When did you say the rematch was?" Isumi asked tossing his empty can to a nearby trash landing perfectly. Waya imitated him but the can went sailing farther than intended hitting a passing old lady. They watched horrified as the elderly woman yelled herself hoarse calling them names that made even Hikaru's ears burn. She also made a rude gesture before turning stiffly and going her way.

"Creepy…"

"Yeah…the rematch is the day after tomorrow, Friday I think," Hikaru continued as if there had been no interruption whatsoever.

"Hikaru, we have the North Star tournament on Friday," Isumi protested scandalized.

Hikaru's eyes widened, his stomach clenching, "No we don't."

"Yes we do."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Damn…"

Waya snorted thumping Hikaru lightly in the back, "Wow, you _are _dense. Ask your mom if she dropped you on your head when you were born."

"Are you sure you want to do this Akira?" Touya senior asked his son whose eyes were glued to his hands on his lap. Akira nodded slowly then stopped, no, he wasn't sure. Touya Kouyo halted the vehicle before Sekai High. Students poured out smiling and joking, school was over.

He turned off the car and turned to look at Akira. Silence filled the compact space with laughter and catcalls filtering through the closed windows.

"Akira, ask yourself why you are doing this, then everything will become easier," it was a suggestion not a command. More time passed in which father and son sat with their complicated thoughts and emotions.

"He doesn't want me to do this," Akira finally said resignedly avoiding his father's piercing stare, "Let's go."

"Hikaru doesn't, that's right…but you do right? You don't want to prove Hikaru you are better than that boy, you never did. What you really wanted…what you really needed was to convince yourself."

Akira clenched his hands until the knuckles had become ghostly white, his dark hair fell to cover his expression, "I lost by seven moku! To-to him," he whispered, "And then Shindou had to go out and ask for a match, it made me so mad. I know I would've done the same thing but still…"

His father sighed rubbing his temples with his right hand, "Go, go and get the answers Shindou can't give you, go!" that had certainly been a command.

Startled Akira turned to his father who gazed at him with tired yet strong ebony eyes. He nodded speechless and unlatched his door. His father made soft shooing gestures until Akira had slammed the door shut smiling softly. To think his father would be on his way to China if it hadn't been for this.

Last night Akira had gotten home in a thunderous mood, angered by Hikaru's insolent attitude. His father had been packing hastily for a trip next day at noon but he had sensed something wrong. He had grilled Akira to the point of breaking so that Akira ended telling his retired father everything.

"I will take you to the school; you'll decide what to do then," his father had said early in the morning while Akira emerged from the covers. It didn't matter how much Akira assured him he would be fine, Touya senior had made up his mind, which was widely known, was made out of steel.

Akira crossed the street not bothering to look behind at least once. He knew he was still back there, hoping for the best.

He crossed the hoard of emerging students wondering how in the world he was suppose to find Rei; like a needle in a hay stack. He was about to stop someone at random when he saw the long haired boy laughing his head off at something one of his friends had said.

"Rei!"

The cold blue eyes fixated themselves on him seeming more amused than surprised at Akira's sudden appearance.

"The Famous Akira Touya!" Rei exclaimed for his friends to hear. Most of them sniggered at the disdainful tone in his voice. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"A rematch."

"Ah, I see," he said nodding solemnly, "It's too bad I can't give it to you…"

Akira's eyes widened, his anger spiking up a notch, "Why not?"

Rei scratched his head pretending to be in deep thought, "Well…for one thing I hate spending my free afternoon playing Go. It's stupid to play a game for so long, why don't you get yourself a girl? It'll loosen you up Akira-kun."

"Don't call me that like you know me."

"Touya-_san_, another reason is that I just don't want to play you, it wouldn't be fun…well maybe if you accept the handicap."

"I want to play you evenly," Akira said through clenched teeth.

"No can do," Rei said shrugging his shoulders melodramatically, "Go play Shindou, he's game is trash just like yours—."

Rei didn't see the fist coming, not until it crashed with his left eye. Surprised by the sudden blow he lost his balance and toppled over. Akira Touya towered over him looking oddly calm. Rei's friends stood of to the side unsure of what to do.

"Fine, I now see that to play you would be a waste of time too," Akira said softly staring him down, "I just hope Shindou hurries and realizes it too, we have the preliminaries for the Meijin title coming up. Shindou's head will have to clear his head of pointless worries to beat me."

Rei remained on the ground as Akira turned and left in a relaxed stride. He touched his eye tentatively wincing, feeling it swell by the second. Damn Akira Touya, damn him to hell!

"How did it go?" Touya senior asked astonished at how fast Akira had returned.

Akira shrugged flexing his right hand carefully, Rei's eye socket would leave a bruise on his knuckles, "It went fine, I got my answer."

"Well, I guess I'll be of," Waya said stretching and stifling a yawn.

"Why don't you come to the practice with us," Isumi offered, opening the door for the Go salon.

Waya shook his head yawning widely, "Nah, I'll just be in the way and besides; I have a study session with my master tonight, see ya'."

"Bye," Hikaru said glumly watching stubbornly until Waya had gone out of view.

"Shindou, let's go in," Isumi said sternly holding the door open for him. Hikaru nodded and went in. Kurata was already there setting a bag of goods by the table he was going to play on.

"Hey you two are late," Kurata scolded, "Have you seen Akira? He's usually here before me."

Hikaru and Isumi exchanged looks but didn't say anything.

Hikaru went to the bathroom while the others prepared. So he had gone after all, to play the rematch and 'prove he was better.' Typical Touya, Hikaru was confused at Touya's sudden attitude but then again he could never read Touya completely, he was just a too complicated.

"Okay let's get started," Kurata ordered once Hikaru had emerged from the restroom.

"Sorry I'm late," Akira Touya strolled in, the doors sliding behind him. Hikaru glowered after Akira walked in without giving him as much as a look. "Let's get started Isumi."

That made several eyebrows to be raised but no one said anything.

'_Silence treatment Touya?'_ Hikaru thought fuming_, 'Fine, I can play that game too you immature—.'_

"Nigiri," Kurata said to Hikaru who obeyed refusing to turn and glare at his stupid rival.

But he had to admit he hadn't expected Akira to show up at all, this was so unlike him.

"Touya, what happened to your hand?" Isumi asked at the beginning of their game staring at the now black and blue forefingers as Akira placed a stone.

"Oh, I slammed it on the cupboard by accident this morning," he replied airily looking at Hikaru from the corner of his eye. Hikaru had turned to look at the hand but thought better of it returning to his game.

. Kurata turned from Hikaru's last move to analyze the injured hand frowning, "Does it hurt? Why don't you go get an ice pack?"

Hikaru glanced quickly at him and their eyes met. Akira knew Shindou was shocked he had shown to the practice. He had probably thought Akira would go and ask Rei for a rematch, skipping the study session even though he had told him no.

Akira turned back to his game and grinned at his colorful hand, how well his rival knew him.

**I'm done for the day people. I bet none of you expected this stuff. Well, whatever, you know the usual; write if you want it changed and whatnot. I'm not done with the story in generalby the way so sit tight and wait for more. Do you guys want a fist fight with Akira and Shindou? Yes? No? Okay, I guess not...**


	7. Thinking of You

**Everyone is wondering why Rei is such a genius at Go. The truth is that I had been planning to tell you guys before but this story has grown out of control. I thought it would only have like five chapters but here we are at number seven and the end isn't even near. So please bear with me cuz' the story has a mind of its' own, It might make me end it at chapter eight, chapter twenty or chapter seven. Yes people this might be it! The imminent end might be here! Are you scared, frightened to the point of seat wetting? Well read and find out. **

**Hahahahahahahaha that sounded corny.**

"Okeeydokey, why don't you young people head home, it's pretty late," Kurata got up heavily from his seat patting the crumbs of cookies he had been eating earlier. He headed to the bathroom without further ado. Akira got up after clearing and was heading for the door when Isumi grasped his shoulder.

"Wait, I think we all have to talk about something," Isumi mumbled to him shooting a conspicuous look at Hikaru.

Akira sighed, "What did Shindou do this time?"

Being a few feet away Hikaru heard this loud and clear, "I didn't do _anything _Touya. If anyone did anything here is you. I just called the Fashion police and they think your sense of style is a human tragedy."

"What did he do?" Akira turned to Isumi making a point to ignore the comment on his wardrobe.

Isumi grimaced looking from one to the other, perhaps hoping Hikaru would speak up but Hikaru was too busy glaring at both of them, "Hikaru scheduled his rematch with Rei for Friday."

Seconds passed in which all that could be heard was the ticking of the clock then…

"Are you out of your freaking mind?" Akira snapped making several elderly players turn.

"Shut up, will you?" Hikaru urged nervously waving cheerily at the old people who turned away disgruntled at the interruption.

"You can't skip the tournament Shindou, you just can't!" Akira whispered angrily.

"I agree with Touya, you can't do this to us," Isumi added immediately. "Kurata and the entire Japan Go community will blow the roof if you bail on us Shindou."

Hikaru flopped on his chair and started collecting the stones on the Go board in a violent manner. Soon black and white were shooting of to all the corners of the room. It was true, he was mad and frustrated and riled but most of all he was full of disappointment. He had practiced twenty-four/seven just to beat the bastard. All night in his room, all morning and afternoon in his head…Go went with him even to the bathroom, how obsessive could you get?

"Change the date," Akira ordered in the commanding voice he seemed to have inherited from his father. Hikaru was on the verge of answering back when he realized Akira had just told him the most obvious option he could take. "Go to Sekai tomorrow and tell him the rematch will take place after the North Star cup."

Hikaru got home and went to his room without dinner, he didn't have the time for it, he had to practice. Once in his room he got his alarm and set it for five in the morning. He would have to go to Sekai High and try to catch Rei before his classes, so waking at dawn was necessary. Once he talked with Rei and changed the match he would return to study the entire afternoon with Akira and Isumi.

After hours of more practice Hikaru lay on his bed, watching the late night breeze blow the kites outside his window. They had blown just as candidly as the day after Sai's departure. It was an atmosphere, his room was.

An atmosphere where time stood still and Sai's memory wasn't blurry and precedent like it was in the outside. Here the memory went strong to the point that upon waking up in the mornings he could sense Sai's presence seconds before opening his eyes. Of course it was heart wrenching to open his eyes and see no one for two consecutive years but…memories were precious. It would be wrong to forget; he knew this and held on to it. It was the only thing keeping him from throwing his fan and Go board out of the window every morning at the pain of it all.

Resigned he closed his eyes, his exhausting day taking him to dreamland in no time.

_Tall grass waved below an indigo sky. Hikaru breathed in the fresh prairie air feeling warm and weightless. This was it he just knew it. He looked about and in no time saw the back of his long gone teacher. The purple hair waved just as placidly as the leaves of the nearby tree. _

"_Sai!" he felt himself call out, his voice coming out as in a deep echoing tunnel. In his chest he felt excitement, this was no silly dream Sai really was here before him, "You came back!"_

_Sai turned only his head to look beyond his shoulder. Time stood still and yet the wind continued to blow. Hikaru's broad smile dropped, Sai wasn't smiling. In fact Sai was looking at him as how you would look upon a stranger, indifferent and uncaring._

_Hikaru smiled forcefully his heart falling yet refusing to believe, "Sai, it's me. I'm so happy you came back. I've been having some problems lately, this guy looks like you! Can you believe it? He is such a jerk though, I have this match on Friday—oh no never mind. Touya made me change it. Well, we have the North Star Cup on Friday, it's really fun! It's too bad you were never here for it, you would've liked it…Sai?"_

_The purple haired ghost had turned his head and started walking away. _

"_Wait where are you going?" he hurried after him. Sai strode forward without looking at him. _

"_Hurry up! Why do you always take so long?" _

_Sai's face broke into the warm smile Hikaru had seen so long ago as he headed to a small twelve year old boy sitting before a Go board. _

_Hikaru gasped, sitting on the grass smiling up at Sai was Hikaru as he had been five years ago. He was staring at himself. _

_Sai sat on the ground and fixed his garb before reaching in the basket for a stone. Twelve-year old Hikaru frowned while Sai put the stone on the board then he got one of his own basket. Hikaru saw speechless as his younger self put down the stone. He held the stone like a true beginner. _

"_Hikaru, why did you put the stone there?" Sai asked softly after a few more moves._

_The dream Hikaru thought for a moment, "Because I wanted to gain territory," he said finally._

_Sai smiled, the patient smile of a mentor, "Yes but by doing that I could simply stop you here and corner you there, your group would be dead."_

_Dream Hikaru groaned loudly, "You are just too good Sai, I'll never get it!"_

"_That's not true Hikaru, we have plenty of time, you will improve you'll see."_

_Hikaru stood by them not really understanding, he was here but Sai refused to acknowledge him, what was going on?_

"_Sai, what is it? Is that me? Sai! Speak to me! Speak!"_

_The only sounds of his dream were the whispering of the wind and the tap of stone with wood but on the distance he heard a beeping growing insistently. He knew it was time to go, with regret, desperation and bewilderment he woke._

His alarm beeped and beeped until he reached over and threw it across the room, but he could barely hear it crash or see it break because of his sobs and pouring tears.

"Rei? No he doesn't come to the club in the mornings; he isn't part of the club at all."

Hikaru bit his lip not knowing what to do. He had hurried on the subway arriving a little earlier than he wanted, most students weren't here yet. Knowing this he had gone to the theater arts classroom. The brown haired boy with glasses whose name was Kuragi was there with two other Go members.

"Well do you know when he'll get here, I really need to talk to him," Hikaru said pleadingly.

Kuragi shrugged but smiled wickedly, "I don't think Rei is in the mood for Go right now. Once Akira Touya beat him yesterday Rei hasn't been too keen on it."

Hikaru blinked trying to compute what had just been said, "Touya beat Rei? Are you sure, Touya didn't say anything. What was the score?"

To his surprise Kuragi and the other two boys burst out laughing.

"Sorry, I meant punch, I meant punch!" Kuragi managed to sputter while roaring with laughter.

Hikaru felt like he had landed in the _Twilight Zone_, where were the pig masks?

"Akira Touya came yesterday and asked for a rematch but Rei said no," one of the other two boys explained while the other two pounded the Go boards still laughing. "Rei insulted you so Touya punched him."

"Square in the eye!" Kuragi said finally calming down wiping the tears from his eyes, "He deserved it, Rei is the biggest—."

"The biggest _what, _Kuragi?"

Hikaru turned to the doorway, and his first thought was to never pick a fight with Akira, it would hurt.

Rei was leaning on the doorway as cool as collected as could be. The only thing ruining his cool look was the large swollen mass of purple, blue and black that his left eye was.

"What do you want Shidou?" He snapped irritated entering the room so that they were only a few feet apart. Hikaru's mouth hanged open and his eyes were indiscreetly wide as he gawked. Akira's bruised hand came to mind so that all the pieces fell into place, but he didn't say anything.

"I said what do you want?" Rei hissed.

"Oh, uh, I wanted to change our match…I have a tournament on Friday," Hikaru managed to say still staring in horror at the painful sight.

"No, I won't change it. Either we play tomorrow or we don't play at all," Rei said glaring with one eye while the other simply squinted.

"What is it to you if we just play a week from now?" Hikaru urged beginning to get mad. He hadn't met anyone who could push his buttons even worse than Akira.

"It means nothing to me but I guess it means a lot to you…," Rei smirked but it looked like a very painful process. "So it will be tomorrow or never."

The school bell rang its usual tones announcing the end of the conversation.

"I'll wait for you tomorrow five minutes, if you don't show, then don't bother me ever again."

Rei left and soon afterwards Kuragi and the others shooting him uneasy looks. Hikaru would have remained glued to the spot if students hadn't started to file in staring at him. He rushed out and ran all the way out of the school perimeters. His head felt on the point of exploding, if Rei had stood before him a few more seconds Hikaru would've given him a second squinting eye.

He couldn't believe this, Rei would refuse to play him ever again just to spite him he just knew it. Oh well, maybe if he skipped the tournament…no!

What was wrong with him? Why did it matter so much to be unable to play against that asshole?

_'He has Sai's face'_

That's right…Sai…

Hikaru sat on the curb of the street his face on his hands. He now realized it: he didn't want to play Rei because of some stupid rivalry or because he wanted to protect Sai's memory.

No…what he wanted was to just play him. To fool himself for just a few hours into believing that Sai wasn't gone, Sai was before him playing and teaching him. Yes…that is what he wanted, what he was willing to give up everything for, that lie.

The dream of last night came back rushing to him and he understood it perfectly.

Sai, in the spirit world, was frozen with the memory of Hikaru, just as Hikaru was frozen in life with the memory of Sai.

Both frozen with wishes of what they desperately wanted back, unable to move on.

'_It would have been easier if we had stayed together…until the very end'_

**That is all for today folks, I hope it was of your liking, if not well review and complain. Oh and something else, people please watch the entire season of Hikaru no Go and you will see Akira's attitude. He is so not the quiet shy type, okay maybe quiet but he is just being respectful to his elders. The real Akira Touya has a bad temper that can be tested very easily. So I thought that him, boxing was a given. Oh well, buhbye, don't cry I'll be back but my wrists are beginning to hurt. If I get carpel tunnel syndrome or whatnot I blame all of you. Goodnight, dream with angels and cotton candy. Happy, happy, joy, joy. **


	8. HappySad Life

**Hello once more. I'm sorry, was the last chapter confusing? Okay well let me ask you something. Is there anyone out there who actually believes Sai wanted to leave Hikaru in the first place? Or that Sai with all his love for Go and Hikaru would just move on in the other world to thrive in eternal redemption or reincarnate as a bunny or something? NO people I think not. Sai is still out there, haunting limbo if you will…or in my story he is…hehehehe.**

Hikaru Shindou stared at the predawn sky. There was no wind so the kites flopped like droopy pieces of cloth. The only sounds about the house were of the ancient plumbing and ticking of the manual clock his mom had put in the room to replace his broken one. He turned on his bed to stare at the ceiling instead.

Sai had been in his dreams again accompanied by twelve year old Hikaru. This time the young dream Hikaru had seen Hikaru standing by watching the game and asked Sai if he knew him. To which Sai had replied, "_No I don't know him, pay attention to the game Hikaru."_

Hikaru had been on the verge of going up to the ghost to shake and make him understand _he_ was the real Hikaru, not a mere memory, he was real. But the dream had ended so he now laid on his bed thinking things through.

This was stupid; he had a full life ahead of him that didn't include Sai. He had to get over that or else there would be many predawn wakings like these. The North Star cup was a few hours away and he wasn't as prepared as he wished to be. Rei Verona's face flashed before him, Sai's face and he winced.

No…he if he wanted to move on he would have to play Rei just one more time. One more time….

"Have a safe flight," Akira said smiling up to his towering father. No matter how much Akira grew, it seemed his father was destined to watch him from above. Akira carried the luggage to the front of the house with his father behind him. They stood waiting for the cab listening to the chirping birds.

"You'll do fine in the tournament?" Touya senior mumbled fishing in the pockets of his sports coat. He took out a bottle of aspirin and popped two into his mouth dry.

"Don't you feel good?" Akira asked frowning, "Why don't you go sit down inside and wait there. Or maybe you should cancel; it could be your heart again."

"No, no. Akira, you sound like your mother. I think I'm catching a cold, that's all. Now answer my question."

"I didn't think it was a rhetorical question," Akira replied grudgingly looking away.

"Your mom said Hikaru called last night, what did he want?"

Akira's turned his face pretending to look for the cab. He didn't want to look his father in the eye.

Hikaru _had_ called last night to say Rei had refused to reschedule, he wanted to play on Friday.

"And I assume you told him to go to hell right?" Akira had said irritably to the mouth piece.

"….."

"Shindou, you can't be thinking of going. You couldn't possibly be that stupid, it would put a huge stain on your career as a pro."

"…..Yes I know," had been the weak reply.

"Shindou, I need to know, will you be there tomorrow or not?" Akira had finally snapped.

"….."

"Shindou! Shindou answer me, will you be playing by my side or his, I need to know."

"I just need to lie to myself a little bit longer Touya. Then I'll move on….I have to go, bye."

The click of the dead line was enough to drive Touya into hysterics. He hadn't understood a word of that, it wasn't even an answer!

_'I just need to lie to myself a little bit longer.'_

What the hell was that? It wasn't an answer, it just wasn't! And besides, just exactly who did Hikaru Shindou think he was to ruin the entire reputation of Japanese Go for a simple miscellaneous match with a nobody? Because that was who Rei was; a huge nobody in the world of Go, no one worth while.

"Shindou just wanted to ask for the time of the beginning ceremony," Akira finally said knowing that he wasn't fooling anyone, but thankfully his father caught the hint and said nothing.

The red and white cab finally arrived cueing the final goodbyes.

"I'll call you tonight at your hotel room and ask how it was," Touya senior said hugging his son goodbye.

"Okay, don't stress yourself too much," Akira added seeing how sallow his father's face was.

"Damn colds," his father said hoarsely getting in the cab, "To the airport please."

He turned to Akira smiling warmly, "Tell your mom bye for me, she left early for work so I couldn't do it myself. You take care…and don't worry, Shindou will come along, he's not a stupid kid. I'm sure he knows where his loyalties lie."

With that the cab took off with his father, leaving Akira feeling forlorn. He wasn't so sure his father was right. Hikaru was _very _stupid in his opinion.

"Shindou-sensei, you again?" Kuragi looked up from a game that he had barely begun with a small red-haired girl with many freckles.

Hikaru breathed hard, he had ran all the way from the station wrinkling his powder blue suit, his tie was suffocating him. "Where is Rei, is he here yet?"

Kuragi shook his head putting a stone on the board then turning back to him, "Rei usually hangs in classroom 5-B with some of his asshole friends before the bell rings, but you shouldn't go they're jerks—."

Hikaru was out the door in a flash asking for directions for the class from random people.

"Shindou, our match doesn't start until school is over," Rei's voice appeared out of nowhere when he opened the door to room 5-B.

"I know, but you know I can't," Hikaru said looking around. It was a normal classroom that didn't face the sun, with the lights turned off it was full of shadows. Hikaru was glad Rei was alone, no _asshole_ friends were to be seen.

"I don't care, later, I'm not in the mood, okay?" Rei was seated far in a corner looking out a window. In the dark his eye looked worse than ever but the swelling seemed to have gone down, he could blink normally again.

"I can't play you later, I have to play you now," Hikaru said stubbornly putting down his duffel bag on top of one of the desks.

"Going somewhere?"

"Huh? Oh—I'm going to the hotel for the North Star tournament after this so we have to hurry."

"I _told_ I don't want to play," Rei stood up looking irritated. "I hate you, Akira Touya and Go, so why don't you just go to your wonderful tournament and leave me the hell alone?"

Hikaru stood his ground beginning to feel desperate. He had to play, he just had to then everything would be over. Just one more time…

"Why do you hate Go, you are so good…" he began meekly but Rei wouldn't have any of it.

"Don't compliment my game," Rei growled, "It's trash—just like yours."

"You are better than a pro how can it be trash?" Hikaru asked beginning to get frustrated, this was getting them nowhere.

Rei sat back on the top of a desk to look out the high window his back to Hikaru.

"Shindou, who taught you Go?"

"Uh…" taken aback by the question Hikaru blinked stupidly, "I…taught myself."

"Liar," Rei said softly still not facing him. "My dad taught me. He wasn't a pro himself but he was obsessed with the game. He would study kiffus of pros day after day forcing their knowledge into me. When I wanted to go out and play he would just lock me in the basement with a Go board and new kiffus I had to memorize.

"That was my life: Go. It was like a twenty-four hour cram school you know? My mom and he used to get into fights about it all the time. But he wouldn't let me quit no matter how much I yelled and said I hated him and that stupid game. He just wouldn't let me stop…"

Hikaru began to fidget in his spot, this was something he had never thought of discussing with Rei and still…it was sad.

"When I turned six he took me in for the Insei exam. I passed of course but once in the class I began to loose on purpose. I remained in the bottom of B class for half a year until he blew up and told me my game was trash and he gave up.

"I was relieved of Go, and kiffus. He has never asked me to play since then, not even against him. So I guess my game is trash…"

"That's not true," Hikaru protested, "Your game is further from trash, you beat Touya!

And—and your dad was wrong to tell you that! He should've known how good you were. It was bad of him to force Go to you that's true, but what was worse; he gave up! Teachers aren't suppose to give up, they're not!"

_'Did Sai give up on me, is that why he left?'_

Hikaru shook his head, no, Sai was proud of him, of that he was sure. Sai was his teacher and his best friend. The reason he had left him was probably because…maybe he thought Hikaru was ready to be alone…

"You hate Go not because you were forced to learn it but because your father after all those years of hard work of believing in you gave up."

Rei didn't reply or turn around.

"Go is the best game in the entire world!" Hikaru continued enthusiastically. "It takes a lot of hard work and you have to play all day and night if necessary but it is okay because you enjoy it. You might feel lonely sometimes because—because there is no one behind you but there _is_. There's someone always behind of you edging you on. And there's also someone in front taunting you keep up. That is just how Go is…you enjoy it because you are not alone! There is always someone…" Hikaru trailed off a huge smile plastered to his face. He wasn't alone! There was no reason to feel lonely as he had before. He had his friends and Touya Akira as a rival before and behind him, both taunting and supporting him.

"It does sound good," Rei said finally turning to face him smiling, "but it's just not for me Shindou."

Hikaru's smile froze on his face both from shock and confusion. A stranger with long black hair and blue eyes and a bruised eye was staring at him. He had a strong jaw and high cheekbones. The smile was different too. There was no trace of Sai in him…

'_Maybe there never was,' _Hikaru thought to himself while the subway rocked below him._ 'A phantom face.'_

He shook his head laughing slightly, life was weird. Sometimes it was hard and confusing, sometimes sad but he would get through it, he would move on.

Hikaru arrived at the grand hotel in high spirits. Maybe he could stop worrying from now on and prevent early hair loss. He went to the registers and asked if Kurata was here already. The lady told him they were waiting for him in room 129. He hurried humming tunelessly as the elevator zoomed up. He got up there and knocked on the door which opened immediately. Instantly he was met with commotion. There were yells from the press around and miserable faces stared at him from every corner of the room.

Hikaru saw Isumi and Kurata in a corner looking pale and tired, Akira was nowhere to be seen.

"What happened?" he finally asked reaching the two. And then they told him.

Touya Kouyo had left for China today.

Touya Kouyo had had a heart attack on the way to the airport.

Touya Kouyo was dead.

**Hello and bye once more. This was one of the hardest chapters for me to write because it was so emotionally disturbing. I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone, really, I am cuz' it was sad and confusing even for me to write but whatever. Read-Review-Complain, I deserve it. Bad BlackWingedGabriel, bad.**


	9. Rivals of Yesterday

"The North Star tournament was rescheduled for next month. All China and Korea representatives decided to lay off, so that we could mourn Touya Kouyo's passing in peace," Kurata informed Isumi and Hikaru gravely. It had been an entire week since the fateful day Touya Kouyo had left this world. They were in the Go salon again but there were no Go boards before them. There was also an eerie silence to the place. Still, and gloomy but no one commented on it.

"Poor Touya, I haven't seen him, have you?" Isumi asked Hikaru but Hikaru shook his head, looking of into space.

"The funeral is tomorrow, I expect you two to be there," Kurata sighed, he looked rather pale as if from lack of sleep or food. For the first time in the Go salon Kurata wasn't munching on something.

Isumi nodded solemnly, "I'll be there, how about you Hikaru? Hikaru…?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be there," Hikaru responded softly looking at them as if barely realizing they were in the room with him.

"Snap out of it Hikaru," Kurata told him sternly once Isumi had headed home. "We can't have two of Go's brightest futures derail from the true path, no matter what happens."

Hikaru frowned, just exactly what was Kurata talking about?

"Touya might go through tough times, a possible depression or slump in his game might occur, you can't let that happen to you."

No, that wouldn't happen. Akira Touya's life revolved around Go, and it wouldn't change…would it?

The next morning Hikaru laid on his bed staring at the ceiling again. He hadn't dreamed of Sai, not since Touya Kouyo's demise. It was as if the misfortune had put a halt to the dreams. Hikaru wasn't sure if to be glad or disappointed of not seeing Sai, but it didn't matter, not today.

He sighed sitting up rubbing his eyes. This was a mournful day for the Go world and for some reason he didn't want to face it. The world had lost another icon. He still couldn't understand how easily they had left; Shuusaku, Sai, and now Touya Kouyo.

A knock at the door startled him as much as his cheerful mother's face popping through the doorway.

"Here's your suit, I prepared it for today," she said laying a black, somber attire fully ironed and apparently washed. The simple sight of it made Hikaru cringe. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Nothing, I'm not hungry," he mumbled hoping she would leave him soon. Thankfully she did, casting him a worried motherly look before closing the door behind her. He sighed sliding to the floor and crawling to his Go board. His precious fan laid between the two stone baskets. He slid his finger tip gently over it studying every inch of it. Truth be told, it was an ordinary-looking fan with a simple tassel. No one would truly guess its true meaning by just looking at it, just like no one could see the pain it caused Hikaru to have that black suit laying on his bed, waiting for him.

He didn't want to face it, not again.

The clock ticked loudly combined by the noise of washing dishes his mother was making downstairs. The baskets were by his side and he was reaching into them before he knew it, beginning a whole new game. Well, it wasn't an entirely new game. It was the game Sai had played against Touya Kouyo years ago, the one Touya had lost. He remembered everything about it not because he had been the one actually putting the moves on the virtual board but because it was a true masterpiece. Two geniuses going at it head on. A true masterpiece.

Time flew as he played and replayed focusing on the black and white until for the second time his mother came to call.

"Hikaru, it's getting late, you better hurry the service is…Hikaru? Hikaru…are you going to go?"

Mrs. Shindou's warm face crumpled with worry seeing Hikaru ignore her. He kept playing, unhesitantly. The hit of stones against wood fallowed her all down the stairs where she turned to look back at the closed door. She was sure he hadn't even heard her.

_'Then he played here at the star point…why? Oh because he was trying to threaten the territory in the upper left…' _

A fierce battle that wasn't his own developed itself on the board. He had build himself a wall where he couldn't see the geniuses' next moves, they were just too complicated. A honking of screeching cars blazed out his window for a moment. His eyes went to it but ended looking at the suit instead.

There it was all placid and simple, waiting. Waiting for what? For him to grow up or perhaps take of the blindfold he was trying to hold on so tight to?

_'If I put you on, will it hurt as much as it did back then?'_ he mused letting the stone in his fingers drop back to its basket. _'To loose the brilliant Touya Kouyo…never be able to play him again…will that hurt as much?'_

Kurata's warning came back to him and he shook his head standing up. He couldn't let this derail him, absolutely not. He turned back to the game but didn't sit back down. A disrupt would stop him from making good games such as this one. But to play good Go you needed two great people, two geniuses.

The afternoon sun warmed his back as he strided down the maze of monuments and shrines. His tie felt tight around his neck but he resisted to loosen it. The black suit stifled him as he walked on. Gone was the blindfold who's name was denial.

Hikaru searched in vain feeling stupid, he had gotten there late. The service was long over, but that didn't stop his search.

"I thought you wouldn't come, but you're late as always," a soft voice said behind him.

Touya Akira sat under the shadow of a small shrine. His head was cocked to one side as if listening for a distant sound. He also supported a suit just as gloomy but his tie was hanging on his neck untied. To Hikaru he looked normal even if a bit pale just sitting there.

"Better late than never, huh?" Hikaru replied stepping into the shade taking off his tie too. An awkward silence followed in which Hikaru fidgeted slightly and Akira stared off into space.

"So, how are you feeling?" Hikaru finally asked.

"My father's dead."

"So…sad then?" just as soon as it was out of his mouth Hikaru cursed himself. He was being tactless without meaning to but it was hard…what was he suppose to say?

"I feel lonely, that is how I feel Shindou," Akira replied without emotion. "Go won't ever be the same…"

Hikaru's ears perked up, this was what Kurata had been afraid of and when Hikaru actually thought it over, he was a tad frightened of it himself.

"Says who? Go is Go. Your dad is not gone, he's in your game, I'm sure of it."

"How does that make things better?" Akira questioned beginning to sound angry. "You just don't understand. He's gone, you idiot, gone! My game doesn't change that."

"That's not true, it makes a big difference! He'll never be gone if you continue to play!"

"What makes you think that's satisfying? I want to play _him_ not my game!" Akira shouted standing up.

"You just don't get it!" Hikaru shouted back frustrated. "It will hurt like hell _all_ the time if you let it. It will eat you up until you are obsessed with it that all you'll care about will be seeing him again. Everything you'll try to chase will leave you empty. But don't you see? It will all be in vain because you are too pigheaded to realize he is right behind you!"

Their eyes burned into each other's as both stood a few feet away with clenched fists.

"Right behind me?" Akira finally sneered looking behind him sardonically. "There is no one there Shindou. It's empty back there, with you too."

Hikaru shook his head softly then determinately, "I have you Touya, and you have me."

Time went back and they were kids once more. Stubborn kids with desires and goals much different from the everyone else except themselves. Kids who's destinies were meant to collide to end up right where they were.

Akira blinked once, twice and looked away to the brand new monument that was meant for his beloved father. For the first time in his life, Hikaru Shindou saw his rival cry.

"How was the service?" Mrs. Shindou inquired seeing Hikaru taking of his shoes on the hall. "You weren't late, were you?"

"Nah, it was fine," he grunted going up the stairs without a backward glance.

Once in his room he shut the door silently and changed clothes. The Go game was still set as he had left it. He sat before it and played until his arm hurt of being lifted and set down. He worked in a trance knowing exactly what to do. The movements he had been puzzled by before seemed crystal clear, just like Akira's tears.

With this thought in mind he went to bed looking at the flowing kites in the darkness.

Akira Touya sat before the Go board on the same spot Touya senior had sat night after night. His mother was asleep; exhausted from all the tears she had shed.

He stared at the empty board wondering if this was how things would be from now on; a silent home with a miserable core and an empty board. Most importantly, the space across from him was empty. He laid his head on the board feeling the coolness of the wood, dampening it with fresh tears. As sleep took him away Akira wondered if he would be strong enough to make his desire for Go continue, or if he would be able to give up the fight and make his heart pound again.

_The grass floated and the sound of ruffling leaves was the same as it had been before. Two players sat peacefully under the shade of a tree, a Go board between them. Their concentration was total on the game before them. It was a game for two geniuses. _

_Hikaru felt a peace he hadn't felt before. It made him feel complete to watch this. Akira was with him, smiling as he had never smiled before. Both rivals stood side by side realizing that the hole they had each dug themselves wasn't as deep as they had thought. There was hope because rivalries never ended._

_"Why are you two just standing there? Come study our game, how else will you learn." Touya Kouyo scolded looking at the standing boys._

_"He is right Hikaru, Akira, how will you two discover the Divine Move if you are slacking?" Sai added pouting looking up from the game board, "You promised to play it with me someday Hikaru."_

_"Yeah, yeah, you whine too much Sai," Hikaru replied rolling his eyes. Akira's eyes lingered on the purple haired man. Sai…_

_Questions flowed from his mind but he held them back. He really didn't need details, not anymore._

_"We'll find it someday," Akira assured the scowling ghosts. _

_"I know you will," Touya Kouyo said tenderly looking at his son approvingly._

_Sai smiled at Hikaru, "Yes, you'll find it together"_


End file.
